There's a problem that I need to solve, immediately. I have been thinking about since last night.

The urgency starts as I went to sleep yesterday. It was a good night and Parmadita smiling in her sleep. Despite that, my mind wander off into the distance. Eventually it stopped flying away and land on a cold hard truth that I can't bear anymore. I haven't addressed my own wife with a good, consistent, name. It was always between, "babe", "my wife", "girl", or just by "Parmadita". It got me good, made me thought about it all day long.

Right now I'm sleeping on top of my bed, enjoying the light of the night, passing through the blindfolded window that's behind me. Facing towards me, is a sleeping face of an oblivious angel, my own wife. She's tired from chatting with her friend using the pendant we've got from The Agency. I think it's safe to say that it was Pim who is the other side of the call. Just like usual, they are talking about events happening in The Republic and also some rumors circulating through a network of wives in this facility. She's also tired because of other activities, but that's a story for another day.

In several minutes, she should wake up and starts her activities immediately. She is disciplined and skillful in all things housewives related. I've seen her prepare me a varied meal, did the laundry, clean the house, and all of the chores before I finishes showering. Those are some of the ideal quality for a housewife, but I hope that she's not pushing herself too much with work. I also want her to be more open to me with her little problems, things that doesn't matter to the grand scheme of things, least at first glance.

Her internal clock is working flawlessly. It starts with her eyes opening, a quiet yawn, and sitting up showing the messy bed hair that's marinated since last night. I grabs her hands by the fingers and starts the morning with a greeting.

Lukman

Good morning, wif..., baa..., Parma.

Parmadita

Yawn, good morning. I think I wake up a bit late today, huh?

Lukman

Nope, you're spot on a always.

Parmadita

Really, is that true? I can absolutely feel that it's a bit late by a second or two.

Lukman

Your internal clock margin of error is less than a second?

Parmadita

I know it's a bit inaccurate. I've seen some of my friends with better time management than me.

I don't think I want to know the rigorous training you need to go through, just to train your sense of time with that kind of accuracy. I really want to hug her but my upper body felt stiff and unresponsive. It's like controlling a puppet with missing strings. Maybe I could convince her to be a lazy person, only for this morning.

Lukman

Hey Babe, don't start doing chores just yet. Can you be with me for another minute or two?

Just realizing that I'm being inconsistent again. I really need to decide on what to call her as soon as possible.

Parmadita

There's a lot of things that I need to work on before you go to work. Is this really necessary?

Lukman

I feel like it is.

The response that I get is a sigh with a hint of smile. From a sitting position, she moves herself slowly towards me and lie on top of my body. I can feel the rhythmic pulses of her breath blowing against my neck. Her whole upper body is hugging me tight, and I can feel Parma's hand stroking the back of my head. It feels warm, relaxing, and although I haven't been there, heavenly. If I didn't know any better, I could swear that she was in another relationship before this one.

Lukman

Th- Thank you, this feels nice.

She replies with low volume voice, closing in near my right ear.

Parmadita

You are welcome. I'll be like this for a while, so relax and enjoy this.

Lukman

Will do but, can we chat a bit, I want to ask you something.

Parmadita

Nothing serious right?

Lukman

Not that it has anything to do with the mission.

Parmadita

Well then, ask away. I don't really want to hear anything work related before noon.

Lukman

You and me both.

I just want to ask you, does it feel that I'm inconsistent to you?

Parmadita

What do you mean by that?

Lukman

I just feel that I have treated you inconsistently since the start of our marriage you know. Just the way I call you is inconsistent enough. I bet you can remember a lot more things that I've done wrong though.

Her reply is a short pause. Silence met with anxiety starts to seep into my brain. Didn't expect for me to step on a "landmine" this early in the morning. I starts to think different ways to make her happy, just so I can cover myself up if she ever gets mad by my question. Before I finishes my train of thoughts, she answers with a serious yet calming tone.

Parmadita

Why would you think you're being inconsistent?

Lukman

Shou- Should I really explain the reason? It's a bit embarrasing.

Parmadita

Good communication is the main pillars of a good relationship.

My face wrinkles and frown with my lips pursed by doubts. I think she is playing a game that I'm not even a part of. The chance of her being disgusted by my explanation is not zero, so this could be an opportunity for her to out me as an anxiety filled person. I don't want to show her that, it's not a good quality of a husband after all. Comparing myself to her, what kinds of good qualities that she sees in me is still a mystery.

Reacting to my facial expression, she puff her cheeks out with air and stick her forehead with mine until our eyes is just a hair width away. I haven't seen that eyes this close. I know the familiar brown color of hers, but it truly is different to see the golden part of an iris combined with the abyss of darkness of her pupil. Oddly, it feels endearing and making me feel closer to her.

Parmadita

Speak.

Just talk to me about your worries, I won't laugh.

Lukman

Will you really do that?

Parmadita

In time like this, where we are at our closest, no one would be able to lie.

Lukman

Ok, here we go...

I just want to make you happy. I don't want you to feel discomfort, hurt, or any negative condition ever. But I have been thinking that I'm not good enough for this.

Like, you being the most consistent person that I know of. You wake up at the exact time every morning. Our room is always clean and stocked with things that I could eat. Warm food is always on the table at the moment where I need it most. Saying that you're a good wife for me would be an undestatement.

Parmadita

Thank you for the compliments...

I don't really know what to say to that...

Lukman

But look at me. I'm just a regular guy with a boring job who doesn't really have time for his own wife. We have been living for a month together yet I don't know what to call you yet, literally. I don't really know whether calling you "babe" would be cringy, or "my wife" which sounds pretentious, yet your own name isn't really a pet name suitable for a married couple is it?

What I am trying to say is that you're a perfect woman and don't deserve such a pathetic husband. I'm inconsistent, uncaring, and anxious to the littlest of things. I'm sorry that you're stuck wit-

I get my mouth sealed shut with her lips right before finishing my sentence. She closes her eyes to hide an aura of anger and disappointment behind her loving embrace. Two characteristics that's the opposite of each other, somehow describes her emotion perfectly. This is the first time I've seen her like this. Whatever happens next, I'm not prepared for it.

Parmadita

Don't you ever say those gloomy things ever again. We will talk later, after work. But let me tell you one thing before you step out of the door of this room.

I do not hate you.

I do not think you should punch yourself down like that.

Lastly, though it's still young and unrefined, I do love you.

Lukman

Okay...

I also love you.

Parmadita

I know.

I get to work a moment after that situation with my wife. She doesn't say anything to me after that, but she did gave me a deep goodbye kiss. I think she's doing her best to reassure me, to not be anxious about our relationship. A relationship that's built upon trust for each other and a developing love based on our characteristics.

Right now I'm in my workplace, sitting on a chair, accompanied by an office sanctioned laptop which sits idly on my desk. Today's task is to finish a high level report about our research. Stacks of notes and pages of measurements are scattered across the unoccupied office space. A woman is standing surrounded by it, carefully reading for any missing component.

Our research topic for this semester is about mana leakage and how to better detect it within a closed environment. "Closed environment" here means we will account nothing else beside the container and the mana itself. It seems some higher-ups are interested in this. There's some rumors among the staff that this research could reveal something about the large amount of mana that's been produced lately. Although not directly related, large flows like that must have come from somewhere and our research might highlight an unknown behavior of mana which could only happen in this facility.

Just to remind you, that's the whole reason why I am here. My mission is to investigate the reason for that.

This situation is awfully convenient for me, because I don't need to do any espionage work to advance my investigation. But even if I need to do it, that would be the least of my concern. Right now my concern lies on a deadline, crawling closer to us. The deadline for our next research report.

The report will include most well known methods that we modify to give us the best result possible. In short, we have gone through a lot of guessing work and brute-forcing every possible parameter to get the solution. This research requires time, mind power, and a lot of spent mana for experimentation. I hope they're not going to cut our budget for the next quarter because of this experiment.

Miss One

Lukman, when is the deadline again?

Lukman

The deadline is coming in 7 days time, Miss One.

Miss One

Hmm, I know that we are no longer doing experiments anymore. But that still leaves us with a lot of paper work to do. I have finished my part, how about yours?

Lukman

I also have finished it a day ago. Right now I'm just proof reading it for the second time, fixing typos and cross checking it with real data.

We both nod our head and let out a big sigh of relief. I guess deadline shouldn't be something that I'm thinking right now. Maybe it should be about the presentation that I need to give in a week. But I couldn't be arsed to care about that, not before I could milk every single information about what my research would contribute to J-MEF. This is not because of my "high above ye" virtue, of course. It's always about the mission at hand. At the very least, I should know the person who's going to handle and use mine and Miss One's work so far.

It's going to be that young leader that I met way back when I first got here. The mysterious man that's loved by all but understood by little. There's none other than Primo himself. I don't really understand that person, particularly because we haven't interacted with each other since then.

Based on reports from Parmadita, he usually hangs out near the park and "Sate Ayam Pak Budi". He is also known as a lone wanderer of this facility outside of working hours, sitting idly looking at people passing by. Occasionally, he could be seen writing on a notebook that's always by his side.

Some days ago, Parma caught a glimpse into the content of his personal book. She said those pages are filled with doodles, sketches of sceneries, and strange indescribable symbols. He is getting more eccentric every time we observe him. The Agency still wonders whether he's an important actor in the current mysterious spike of mana production or not.

Miss One

Lukman, I think we have a problem.

Lukman

What is it?

Miss One

I just got a landline call from Primo. He's waiting for us in his office, asking as to also bring the unfinished report.

You don't need to get up and close to see waterfalls of sweat coming out of Miss One's forehead. She lost her balance and try to find support from nearby pillar. Her legs, arms, and lips are all shaking rapidly. This sudden call from the highest ranking man in the whole facility sure hit her like a brick. To a certain extent, the news also affect me, though without as much of an effect. This situation made me wonder about all possibilities where we could potentially screw up our job. I think only the negative cases simply because it's the most productive things to do right now, which is to brace for the worst case I could think of.

We prepare ourselves by haphazardly shoving everything we can inside of an opaque folder. The steps we take to get there is filled with anxiety which everyone with a pair of eyes could see from far away. We exits our building and walks towards the executive office. It's conveniently located in the middle of the office complex. Steps of white stair welcomes us which includes a security guard that checks on our identification.

A man in guard uniform asks us about the detail of our meeting. Miss One is still thinking about the possibilities of what would happen of her future, so talking with other people is outside of the box of possibilities right now. I talk in her stead while giving my identification to him.

Guard

Good day.

Pleasure or business?

Lukman

Business.

We are here to meet Primo. He invited us to his office for working matters.

Guard

Ok, I just got a confirmation from his secretary. Both of you are clear to go. Please authenticate yourself with the elevator using this card. It will automatically send you to the correct floor.

Guess they are not messing around with the security of this particular building. Primo is so special to a point where we need special card just to reach his floor. I wonder what kind of security measures we need to go through before meeting him. According to our mission briefing, we should expect top-of-the-line security measure to keep all executive safe while working.

I poke Miss One's left arm to yank her out of her negative train of thoughts. She immediately shakes her head, comes back to the real world, and gives me a nod. We walk together through a large front door and enters this "executive-only" building. The first thing that we discovers inside is a welcoming scent of freshness, as if the air is circulated through the gardens of the heavens itself. I can see several tables and sofas circling around it, placed strategically so visitors could meet up without going inside of the offices. However, we are not going to use those sofas today.

We can see a figure out in the distance, standing near an elevator door. As we come closer, we found a woman in her twenties wearing professional corporate suit and a little bow tying strands of black long hair into a ponytail. She began to smile while looking at me gently.

Miss Dayrene

Good afternoon Mister Lukman and Miss One. My name is Dayrene, the secretary to our company's president, Mister Primo. He is waiting in his office, so we should get going. But before that, is there anything that I may assist you with?

Lukman

Yes, can we ask why we are being called here? Are we doing something wrong?

Miss Dayrene

I think it will only be appropriate to explain such detail once we are there. Please, may I have your card?

I nod and give her our personal security card. She swipes it on a machine to call an elevator for us. This place doesn't use much of mana powered objects, quite odd for a facility that produces it.

We're now standing in this small space covered from side to side with mirrors. Miss Dayrene does not say anything to us except checking her watch every ten second or so. This elevator ride goes on for a minute until we found ourselves on floor 31.

Just as expected, it's protected by another security door. Miss Dayrene uses a card that's hanging off her neck on a swiping device, again. Soon after that, a quiet beep is heard from a speaker hidden somewhere in this room.

Door opens, two camera meet our eyes, and reassuring smile from Miss Dayrene doesn't give us the intended effect that she's looking for. The floor is carpeted, there's cold gust of wind from a nearby air conditioner, and clicks of keyboard can be heard from far away. This is what you called a proper office filled by administrative talents from all known worlds.

Primo's office isn't far from here, just at the end of this walkway. Its interior window's not open, blinded, and no one dares to get close to them. Nearby employees actively avoids our path, their head looking down. Miss Dayrene stands straight and walk past them. Her attitude makes me sick, disturbed. I head on, following her while looking at her back.

Primo

Ah, welcome Miss One and Mister Lukman! Come inside, lets have some tea together. I'm trying to finish some work first, please stand by here. Miss Dayrene, make two cup of tea for our guest.

Miss Dayrene isn't budging, body is stone still, like a mother waiting for an apology. Her chin is raised, arms crossed with each other, and eyes forward to Primo. Smug aura circling around her, she's waiting for an answer that Primo knows but hasn't said yet.

Primo

Please.

The reply is a nod, then we are presented with two newly made, still hot, sugared, tea. My subconscious is tickling me, something is happening under their publicly shown relationship. For now, I will throw that idea, far behind in my mind. Right now, an explanation of some sort is going to be extracted out of both me and Miss One. Problem is, we have no idea what kind of question he's going to throw at us.

He finishes signing and correcting paper on his desk. Stacks of it is sitting behind him, waiting to be worked on. He is nowhere near finished, but it seems our presence are more important than those stacks of documents.

Primo leans forward, examining whether other people is in the room or not, and starts to whispers. His voice is quiet and smooth, which is oddly unnerving for someone in such high position.

Primo

I really like your work. Both of you deserve to be recognized by this organization. Think it's time to give you an assignment.

Miss One's anxiety disappears in a moment, replaced with confusion of the highest degree. Her fist relaxed, eyebrows parting and going up, then her mouth opens just a bit to emphasize her expression of disbelieve. She was ready to write a resignation, not praises. Her mind should be as blank as a sheet of paper now. I jump in instead to ask follow up questions.

Lukman

If we may, why do you like our work?

Primo

Because the result that you got right here coincide with our need to check mana leakage in The Republic and Federation. For very obvious administrative reason, we are not including Milium in our project. None of us want to risk your life, after all.

You seeing where I'm going with this?

Lukman

I guess you want us to be the expert for this project?

Primo

That's right, I want both of you as the expert. This will be your next assignment, after you have given us a proper presentation for it of course.

Lukman

Thank you Mr. Primo, we will try our best to deliver for this project.

Primo

I will count on that, Mr. Lukman. Though we do need to discuss some of the details of your research before heading on to present it to everyone.

Lukman

Certainly, but are we going to discuss all of that here?

Primo

Of course, let us start reviewing it. The presentation starts in an hour after all.

Lukman and Ms. One

WHAT?!

This body could not stand another grains of sand worth of work. I did not think we are going to present it a moment after it's done being reviewed. Yet, I must not look like a wuss in front of my own wife, so I'm going to keep my fatigue from her. Though, my exhausted expression does not help.

Before knocking my front door, I straighten my back, pull my chin up, and take a deep breath. Clearing this mind out of the "damages" taken from today's work. Sure, it goes surprisingly well, good reviews from everyone, but it doesn't change that it took a toll on my psyche. Parma probably will not notice it, so all I have to do is to not act suspiciously.

Clicks of keys from inside, creaks of my door opening up, presenting me with Parmadita in her usual house dress. Her hair is tied into a pony tail, eyes still sharp, and hands a bit dusty, probably from cleaning the room. Not a second after she saw me, I already got found out by that perceptive eyes which is right through my soul.

Parmadita

Lukman what happened to you?!

You look sick and exhausted, are you okay? Come inside now and lie on the bed. I'm going to prepare you medicine and something easy to drink. Here, let me take your things, just don't think.

Lukman

How did you...

Parmadita

Anyone with a pair of eyes could see through you, Lukman! Stop being childish and talk to me if something like this happened, please. Now go lie on our bed.

Sometimes I wonder whether she's an actual mind reader or not. Reminds me of what we are discussing this morning. Made me feel like an incompetent husband to not have her super perceptive ability.

Parmadita

Okay say aah and swallow. This is paracetamol, it will definitely fix your headache better in less than an hour. Also here, I got you warm tea. Make sure to drink it all. If you want to go to the toilet just call me okay, I will be by your side.

Lukman

Parma...

She touches my cheek and runs her palm downwards, until it's on my neck. This is the way most people check a sick person's temperature, which I'm in a very urgent need of. Her eyebrows frowns, knowing that I'm warmer than usual. While forcing me to drink that tea, she pulls a single just out of the drier blanket. Truly, I feel like being cared by someone that really wants me to get healthy.

Lukman

Are you okay, doing this?

Parmadita

A sick man shouldn't worry of the healthy. I think a wise woman said that once. Which is probably me, just now. Also, I'm fine. I told you to not think.

Lukman

No...

I mean, this morning...

We talked about it...

My throat sounds rough and dampened. I didn't realize my voice is this raspy from just presenting that research. My wife's face becomes relaxed as if she knows what is going on in my mind right now. Let's just say, she's probably, most definitely, right.

Parmadita

Please don't ruin your health further by thinking about it. I told you before that I love you, is it not enough?

For now please just relax yourself, let's talk about this after you're getting better. I will listen to your problem, but not now.

My back has gotten relaxed for several minutes now. This is a chance to get some sleep, once my eye is shut close. I should never underestimate how much work I can get through in a day, ever again. Not with the cost of her worries, at least. But I have to admit, it's nice if I do this once in a while.